Ah, fall golf. Crisp air, golden leaves, and just under five hours of sunlight — unless, of course, you’re the one foursome moving at the speed of tectonic plates. Yes, we’re looking at you.

One humble goal at this year’s QCC: get everyone around 18 holes before the sun clocks out at 5:31 PM, like an emotionally unavailable father.

This requires a delicate blend of logistics, etiquette, and letting go of your PGA Tour delusions.

Play It Forward, BUDDY

First up: tee selection.

Despite averaging driving distance of 205 yards — to the right — one of you will still stand on the first tee and declare, “We’re playing the tips. Gotta prep for Q-School.”

Bold words from a group that hasn’t logged a birdie since the Obama administration.

If you’re bringing fairway woods into par 4s on purpose, the back tees are not for you. Play it forward. Be the hero this tournament deserves.

Scramble vs. Best Ball: Choose Peace

We’ve graciously allowed teams to pick their format: scramble or best ball. Easy, right? You’d think.

But no — someone always insists, “Best ball is a purer test of golf. Plus, we like writing down double bogeys individually.”

Nothing screams “authentic” like pacing off a 9-footer for bogey while three groups wait on the tee like extras in The Revenant.

Trickle-Down Slow Play-onomics

Here’s the thing: slow play isn’t just your problem. It’s everyones problem.

Group 4, teeing off at 1:35 PM, is already on the clock before they hit their first shot. By hole 13, the sun’s lower than their morale. By 16, they’re putting with iPhone flashlights.

“Honestly, it was kinda romantic,” says co-organizer JM, who now has commitment issues. “We paid $389 to play six full holes. Love that for us.”

Final Thoughts: This Isn’t The Oregon Trail

Golf is about fun, and winning - in any format. It’s not supposed to be a historical reenactment where you perish on the back nine because Greg wanted to re-tee on hole 11 “just to see if it’s better.”

So here’s the game plan:

Play forward.
Choose scramble.
Stop reading greens like they’re ancient runes.
Play “ready golf”.
Emotionally abuse slow players in your group.
Keep it moving — or you’re getting glow-in-the-dark balls and a headlamp.

As Tournament Director Meyer so eloquently put it: “You don’t win anything but a weird trophy and mild self-respect. No one needs five hours to earn that.”

Now tighten it up. The sun’s not waiting — and neither are we.

By: Anonymous Contributor | Published: Sept 29, 2025